I questioned why I write. “I think I just want to write. Nothing really drives me,” I concluded during one of my introspective sessions.
While cleaning the dishes yesterday, again I went into my regular soliloquy and critical thinking, and I questioned my reason for being a writer. Then, came the switch. I discovered that I do not just want to write and was alarmed by the fact that I have been lying to myself. It was quite surprising, you know? And so, this soliloquy brought back memories.
As a primary three student, I had difficulties with writing. I often failed my letter writing classwork. When I noticed my failure with my writing, I began practicing letter writing and composition. At that young age, I remembered I stayed up late every night to practice writing. And it paid off.
At Junior Secondary School, I could not remember having difficulties with writing. Rather, it was a worthwile experience because I began to develop a craft. I had the avenue to learn from others. It was the best thing. I had classmates who loved writing and reading. Damilola Alonge, my classmate in Junior School, class 2 was a brilliant student. She wrote poems and I loved learning from her. One day she brought a book titled “Ogbanje” to school. I borrowed the book home; this book was such an interesting read. At a point, I envied how Damilola wrote her poems. And then, I began to write poems as well. Later on, Damilola, Feyisara Ettu, and I became writing buddies.
In Junior School 3, I halted writing for some months. This was because my cousin’s dad hid my jotter (At that time, I lived with my cousins). because I left my jotter on the cushion in the sitting room. I was used to this practice because at my parent’s, I drop off my book on the cushion. In this jotter, I had different poems. I cannot remember the content of this jotter. But then, I knew I lost something.All through my Senior Secondary School, I had a jotter for poems. I remember I wrote a love poem for my brother. I would assume the poem was nice because my brother loved it.
However, when I began studying French at the University of Ibadan (U.I), it all changed. I was overwhelmed by the new language because I lacked solid prior knowledge. I read as if, I was an engineering student. I was a regular face at the University library, the Kenneth Dike Library (KDL). People often ask me, “what are you studying?” They were curious to know what I was always doing at the library. (Curious people, don’t mind the poor “me.”) French dealt with me. I lost my vibes for writing poetries but I kept a diary. And I still keep a diary till date though. Till I graduated from I cannot remember writing poetries except from daily scribblings in my diary.
Towards the end of my National Youth Service (NYSC) in 2016, I decided to start all over. This was after my father had chastised me on my English vocabulary deficiency. I decided that I would start writing again. In May 2017, I started my blog out of unemployment frustration. And my writing got me my first salaried job as a content creator in 2018.
Why the stories? It is to let you know that there are some lies we might be telling ourselves. The success of that project might not be just grace. There was an effort you made but you forgot to mention them when you told your success story.
There are so many things we do or achieve that we sowed the seed in the past. The present they say is a reflection of the past. Your little efforts matter. They are symbols of productivity and growth.
Now I know, I do not just write but I write to get better at my craft.
I ask, “what lies are you telling yourself?”
Uncommon (not general) Terms in Education
Primary three: The third year of the elementary school in British and its colonies. This school-level varies by country. It is third grade in America and Canada; CE2 in France and colonies.
Junior secondary school: The first level of secondary education in Britain and its colonies. This school-level naming varies by country. It is called middle school or junior high school in America and Canada; collège in France and French colonies.
Senior secondary school: The second and final level of secondary education in Britain and its colonies. This school-level naming varies by country. It is called high school in America and Canada; lycée in France and French colonies.